A Life Suspended

This important book, A Life Suspended: A Mother and Son’s Story of Autism, Extinction Bursts, and Living a Resilient Life, is written by my writing group facilitator Nicole Donovan. 

It was fortuitous that I attended Nicole’s Snapshot Stories workshop at the Sandwich Library in February. Despite my experience writing, after retirement I was in need of some inspiration. I learned so much from Nicole that I signed up for five more sessions in May at her Lotus and Rose Healing Arts Studio. The Ancestral Stories writing group continued meeting monthly through September and has been a consistent source of joy for me throughout.

Now, I’m at a crossroads about how to move forward with my writing. September truly is a month of transitions and a time for me to come to terms with my goals. I love the group energy of Ancestral Stories and can’t give that up. I’ve been questioning what direction to take, and I feel like I need some guidance. My ancestors haven’t exactly been banging down the door between me and the netherworld, but nonetheless I feel their presence. Somehow, my writing persists. 

And, I have seriously digressed from this book review!

Having finished reading this book, I believe Nicole is a good fit to help me bring some coherence to my own ideas. Her writing is honest and accessible. She writes in an open and authentic manner about the very personal topic of her son Jack’s Asperger’s Syndrome diagnosis. Nicole is insightful and generous with her time and feedback.

Our writing styles and outlook on life seem similar in many ways. We’re both mothers and teachers whose experiences reverberate with the familiar themes of self-doubt, a search for clarity, and difficulty letting go. Correlations echo throughout, mostly in our reflective natures and coping strategies. Therapy, journaling, breath work, meditation, and humor bring solace to us both during emotional challenges.

I love how Nicole incorporates figurative and descriptive language into her prose. Her story is both heartrending and hopeful at the same time. She fully captures the essence of trying to keep it all together as a mother, as well as the intensity of our ‘mother bear’ feelings for our children. 

I annotated the hell out of this book as I read it, but this passage stands out for its relevance in my life at the moment. 

“There is an old saying, ‘When the student is ready, the teacher will appear,’ which I found true in my own life. Jack was ready for the next phase. It was time for me to let go . . .”

I have had opportunities to be both the teacher and the student in my lifetime. Lifelong learning and emotional growth are the key components for a worthwhile existence at any age.

Abscond

Abscond is a short story by Abraham Verghese that I downloaded to my Kindle for free. I think I like this author’s writing, but his novels are LONG and therefore require quite a commitment from me. I’m glad I made it through The Covenant of Water and need to decide whether to attempt Cutting for Stone. I worry I won’t have the stamina. 

Verghese clearly writes from what he knows, and much of that knowledge seems to revolve around Indian and Scottish cultures, as well as an interest in academics and medicine. I recognized these similarities in both of his stories I have read and suspect the same is true in Stone.

So in summary, Abscond was entertaining. The story centers on the life of 13-year-old tennis prodigy Ravi Ramanathan, during the summer of 1967 in New Jersey. The description on Goodreads begins, “Fate challenges a boy to find his place in the world …” Ironically, I felt there were some areas that could have been fleshed out more. In other words, think I would LOVE this author if his books were “just right” (like Goldilock’s porridge) in length. Not too short and not too long :)

Burn

There’s something about this book that kept me reading … for a month, but the ending was so, so disappointing. Burn by Peter Heller sacrificed plot for character introspection and intricate (but repetitive) descriptive details.

That said, I think I liked the writing style (which isn’t often the case). I would have preferred more meat on the bones of the storyline which involved some type of armed conflict between Maine secessionists and the US government. There’s also the “ick” factor of the main character’s recollections of his sexual encounters with his best friend’s mother when he was a teenager.

Let’s examine some of my annotations for clues. The main character, Jess, through whose eyes we are viewing the current events, is kind of a lost boy. A good person, wrestling with a difficult past as well as an unclear future. He is thoughtful and makes good decisions under pressure. Here he reflects on the elusiveness of achieving happiness.

“The hammer had dropped so often in his life that when there was peace, when there was enough love, when he was cradled by it—the love of a friend, a wife, a dog—he knew that sometime around the height of his joy or contentment—right at the apex, when it seemed life might right itself like a ship in a cross sea, and turn, and sail smoothly—just then lightning would strike. A rogue wave would rise up and blot out the horizon.”

Waiting for the other shoe to drop is how I have perceived this experience many times in my life. I also identified with this passage that demonstrates the power of positive thinking during rough times. 

“He thought again that he might pretend—that the world was a vessel of beauty and peace. He didn’t have to: The clear cold morning was real. Storey was real—his chosen brother—and he had Jess’s back as always. These woods, in their exuberant transition to a dark and frozen winter, were real. The coffee he would soon pour into cups that would warm their hands, the welcome heat off the fire, the quiet wheezes and pops as the flames burned down were all real. One could focus, couldn’t one? Mightn’t one sit in the full bore of a sun just clearing the trees and drink coffee quietly as the meadow dried and the day warmed? And feel a measure of peace?”

Finally, I do appreciate a doomsday story that incorporates a little Zen wisdom to help ease a character’s emotional pain. Here, Jess ponders, the age-old question that the student asks of the Zen master. “I have gained enlightenment, what do I do now?” The response: “Wash your bowl.”

“I have lost everything, what do I do now? Wash the pot, ha. Maybe enlightenment and total loss are the same thing. That is something to chew on.”

I do admire a character who recognizes something worth chewing on, and I guess the juicy morsel of introspection is the best we can expect from life during these uncertain times. Keep it real, and do what needs to be done!