Wish this book was written when I was younger, but I feel lucky that I pretty much figured out its message on my own anyway. I did waste a lot of time during my life, however, feeling like there was something wrong with me because I wasn't always sociable, and why, when I was, I needed an inordinate amount of time to recover from it!
Cain begins with a discussion of the rise of the "Extrovert Ideal" in this country after a turn-of-the-century shift from the "culture of character" to the "culture of personality." Vivacity and gregariousness came to be valued higher than depth and sensitivity as desirable, American character traits. A profound difference in cultural values, however, impacts the personality styles favored in different areas of the world. Extroversion is popular in nations that respect individual freedom, self-expression, and personal destiny. Introversion is reflected by relationship-honoring practices of many eastern cultures. ". . . westerners value boldness and verbal skill, traits that promote individuality, while Asians prize quiet, humility, and sensitivity, which foster group cohesion."
Here's a priceless bit of information that might help explain why Asians seem to outperform Americans on the TIMSS exam (Trends in International Mathematics and Science Study). ". . . excellent students seem not only to possess the cognitive ability to solve math and science problems, but also to have a useful personality characteristic:
quiet persistence." If only I could manufacture that trait and peddle it to all my fifth grade students!
Scientific studies have concluded that between one third and one half of all people are introverts, and naturally, many differences highlight the interactions between the two dispositions. "
In most settings, people use small talk as a way of relaxing into a new relationship, and only once they're comfortable do they connect more seriously. Sensitive people seem to do the reverse. They enjoy small talk only after they establish a deeper connection with someone."
In one significant longitudinal study, developmental psychologist Jerome Kagan examined the biological origins of human temperament by observing babies' reactions to a variety of stimuli, then comparing those results to personality traits the subjects developed as adults. As it turns out, according to Kagan, high-reactive infants were more likely to develop serious, careful personalities, whereas low-reactive infants were more likely to have become relaxed and confident adults. I was/am that high-reactive baby/introvert! Also, no surprise, "many introverts are prone from earliest childhood to strong guilt feelings."
The happy ending of this book is the message that both personas—quiet and bold—play different but significant roles in the development of a balanced and successful world.
