A Life Suspended

This important book, A Life Suspended: A Mother and Son’s Story of Autism, Extinction Bursts, and Living a Resilient Life, is written by my writing group facilitator Nicole Donovan. 

It was fortuitous that I attended Nicole’s Snapshot Stories workshop at the Sandwich Library in February. Despite my experience writing, after retirement I was in need of some inspiration. I learned so much from Nicole that I signed up for five more sessions in May at her Lotus and Rose Healing Arts Studio. The Ancestral Stories writing group continued meeting monthly through September and has been a consistent source of joy for me throughout.

Now, I’m at a crossroads about how to move forward with my writing aspirations. September truly is a month of transitions and a time for me to come to terms with my goals. I love the group energy of Ancestral Stories and would hate to give that that up. I’ve been questioning what direction to take, and I feel like I need some guidance. It’s not like my ancestors have been very forthcoming, but nonetheless my writing persists! Nicole offers so many choices for writing support, I just don’t know which is best for me. It’s good to have options, I guess; however, I have seriously digressed from this book review.

Having finished reading this book, I believe Nicole would be a good fit to help me bring some coherence to my own ideas. Her writing is honest and accessible. She writes in an open and authentic manner about the very personal topic of her son Jack’s Asperger’s Syndrome diagnosis. 

Our writing styles and life sensibilities are similar in many ways. We’re both mothers and teachers whose experiences reverberate with the familiar themes of self-doubt, a search for clarity, and difficulty letting go. Correlations echo throughout, mostly in our introspective natures and coping strategies. Therapy, journaling, breath work, meditation, and humor bring solace to us both during emotional challenges.

I love how Nicole incorporates figurative and descriptive language into her prose. Her story is both heartrending and hopeful at the same time. She fully captures the essence of trying to keep it all together as a mother, and the intensity of our ‘mother bear’ feelings for our children. 

I annotated the hell out of this book as I read it, but this passage stands out for its relevance in my life at the moment. 

“There is an old saying, ‘When the student is ready, the teacher will appear,’ which I found true in my own life. Jack was ready for the next phase. It was time for me to let go . . .”

I have had opportunities to be both the teacher and the student from that expression in my lifetime. Lifelong learning and growing is the key component for a worthwhile existence at any age.

Abscond

Abscond is a short story by Abraham Verghese that I downloaded to my kindle for free. I think I like this author’s writing, but his novels are LONG and therefore require quite a commitment from me. I’m glad I made it through The Covenant of Water and need to decide whether to attempt Cutting for Stone. I worry I won’t have the stamina. 

Verghese clearly writes from what he knows, and much of that knowledge seems to revolve around Indian and Scottish cultures, as well as an interest in academics and medicine. I recognized the similar subtleties of characterization in both of his stories, and I suspect the same will be true in Stone.

So in summary, Abscond was entertaining. The story centers on the life of 13-year-old tennis prodigy Ravi Ramanathan, during the summer of 1967 in New Jersey. The description on Goodreads begins, “Fate challenges a boy to find his place in the world …” Ironically, I felt there were some areas that could have been fleshed out more. In other words, think I would LOVE this author if his books were “just right” (like Goldilock’s porridge) in length. Not too short and not too long :)

Burn

There’s something about this book that kept me reading … for a month, but the ending was so, so disappointing. Burn by Peter Heller sacrificed plot for character introspection and intricate (but repetitive) descriptive details.

That said, I think I liked the writing style (which isn’t often the case). I would have preferred more meat on the bones of the storyline which involved some type of armed conflict between Maine secessionists and the US government. There’s also the “ick” factor of the main character’s recollections of his sexual encounters with his    best friend’s mother when he was a teenager.

Let’s examine some of my annotations for clues. The main character, Jess, through whose eyes we are viewing the current events, is kind of a lost boy. A good person, wrestling with a difficult past as well as an unclear future. He is thoughtful and makes good decisions under pressure. Here he reflects on the elusiveness of achieving happiness.

“The hammer had dropped so often in his life that when there was peace, when there was enough love, when he was cradled by it—the love of a friend, a wife, a dog—he knew that sometime around the height of his joy or contentment—right at the apex, when it seemed life might right itself like a ship in a cross sea, and turn, and sail smoothly—just then lightning would strike. A rogue wave would rise up and blot out the horizon.”

Waiting for the other shoe to drop is how I have perceived this experience in my life. I also identified with this passage that aptly demonstrates the power of positive thinking during rough times. 

“He thought again that he might pretend—that the world was a vessel of beauty and peace. He didn’t have to: The clear cold morning was real. Storey was real—his chosen brother—and he had Jess’s back as always. These woods, in their exuberant transition to a dark and frozen winter, were real. The coffee he would soon pour into cups that would warm their hands, the welcome heat off the fire, the quiet wheezes and pops as the flames burned down were all real. One could focus, couldn’t one? Mightn’t one sit in the full bore of a sun just clearing the trees and drink coffee quietly as the meadow dried and the day warmed? And feel a measure of peace?”

Finally, I do appreciate a doomsday story that incorporates a little Zen wisdom to help ease a character’s emotional pain. Here, Jess ponders, the age-old question that the student asks of the Zen master. “I have gained enlightenment, what do I do now?” The response: “Wash your bowl.”

“I have lost everything, what do I do now? Wash the pot, ha. Maybe enlightenment and total loss are the same thing. That is something to chew on.”

I do admire a character who recognizes something worth chewing on, and I guess the juicy morsel of introspection is the best we can expect from life during these uncertain times. Keep it real, and do what needs to be done!

The Beggar Maid

Small Things Like These

I’ve been exploring my Irish roots through some recent writing workshops, so it’s perfect timing for Small Things Like These by Claire Keegan to become available on CLAMS.

Keegan’s stories always make me think, which is the whole purpose for immersing oneself in a book. I learn a great many Irish/British expressions along the way, too. The real draw for me, however, are Keegan’s thoughtful, realistic characters. I despise reading about contrived, stereotypical people.

This time, I had great empathy for the main character, Bill Furlong, the hardworking, steadfast owner of a heating fuel delivery company. Bill, his wife Eileen and their five daughters are salt-of-the-earth, faithful members of an Irish community sometime in the 1980s. Bill is a thoughtful man who often reflects on his family’s circumstances, recognizing and appreciating the fruits of his solid, working class lifestyle. His work puts him in contact with all manner of people, and he is especially mindful of those not doing as well as he.

Keegan offers insight into Bill’s perspective with her tight, honest prose. Who among us cannot relate to this quick bit?

“When he reached the yard gate and found the padlock seized with frost, he felt the strain of being alive and wished he had stayed in bed…”

And, here one of my favorite sentiments is echoed.

“Always, Christmas brought out the best and the worst in people.”

A shocking discovery one day causes Bill to dig deeper into his own consciousness. As he does, he contemplates his wife’s simple philosophy, “If you want to get on in life, there’s things you have to ignore, so you can keep on.” I can relate to that myself. The world is full of horrific news, but to become overwhelmed by it, can lead to hopelessness and inaction. 

The soft-hearted Bill, however, can’t shake off the weight of what he has witnessed. His inner conflict brings him head to head with the Catholic Church and leads him to this revelation, “was there any point in being alive without helping one another?”

I’ll conclude with this quote that pretty much sums it all up.

“People could be good, Furlong reminded himself, as he drove back to town; it was a matter of learning how to manage and balance the give-and-take in a way that let you get on with others as well as your own.”

Keegan’s writing invites us to ponder our own inner angst as well as how it relates to our connectivity to humanity. That certainly makes for a worthwhile read.

Edited to add my thoughts after watching the movie on Hulu. I would not have chosen the Oppenheimer actor to play Bill Furlong, but I was pleasantly surprised to see a different, less intense, softer side of Cillian Murphy. At the close of the movie this statement fills the screen. 

“Dedicated to the more than 56,000 young women who were sent to Magdalene institutions for ‘penance and rehabilitation’ between 1922 and 1998. And the children who were taken from them.” 

I was unfamiliar with the legacy of the Magdalene Laundries but not surprised to research the subject and learn a little about the abuse that took place. This quote from the Mother Superior’s sermon was particularly relevant, especially when questioning how these atrocities happen. “The love of the Lord is everlasting upon those who fear Him. His justice reaches out to the children’s children when they keep His Covenant in truth.”

Three Days In June

 

Three Days in June by Ann Tyler felt like I was reading something authored by the fictional character Lucy Barton in an Elizabeth Strout novel. The entire book read like a play-by-play of the most mundane, ordinary activities of the main character. Luckily, I identified with Gail Baines, a socially awkward teacher in her 60s who has just been let go from her job as assistant headmistress at a swanky private school. 

Granted, a few conflicts unfold to keep things moving along in this quick read, and that’s what kept me going. However, drab dialogue like the following didn’t make it easy. 

I said, “Oh.” I said, “I hadn’t considered that.”

The story takes place in the Baltimore area during the three days surrounding the wedding of Gail’s only daughter, Debbie. The book opens with the bad news being delivered to Gail by her boss and supposed friend Marilee. The reason given is her lack of people skills which Gail appears not to dispute.

Along the way, the arrival of Gail’s ex-husband with a kitten complicates the situation. In flashbacks, the demise of their marriage as well as Gail’s relationship with her own mother are revisited. A small hiccup between bride and groom as well as the antics of the overbearing in-laws also factor into the plot and nudge it along.

Tyler is the author of many books including The Accidental Tourist which I read but can’t recall anything about it. A Spool of Blue thread found its way onto my Want To Read list a while ago, but I think I’ll give myself space before I try another Tyler novel.

I did, however, download one of her short stories,Teenage Wasteland, because it was free on Kindle. I will update if I ever finish reading that.

Crash Book

 

 

Crash Book is the second of my former therapist Marlene Denessen’s books that I was delighted to discover online and read. My curiosity was peaked by the title and cover image depicting a closeup of a deer head. Turns out she began a healing journey using meditation after being seriously injured in a car accident involving a deer on Route 195 in Massachusetts.

Published in 2022, this book is a pretty handy resource filled with practical advice for developing a meditation practice. It contains anecdotes that humanize the experience for those of us just beginning. Marlene’s voice is straightforward, nonjudgmental, and rings with clarity. Her salt-of-the-Earth guidance is easy to understand and incorporates background information about mindfulness and wellbeing. 

For example, here is a quote from Marc Hiles of the Iona Center that is so relatable. “We are overdosed on data and underfed on the mysterious. Our brains inflate while our souls wither.” I need to be especially cognizant of not drowning my brain while my soul remains thirsty. This concept also brings to mind the word “numinous” that I learned from Susan Cain, the author of Quiet. Mysterious, spiritual, enchanting, mystical, bewitching.

I identified with Marlene’s reference to what she calls the “passing show” or the daily distractions that inevitably compete for our attention during meditation. She matter of factly counsels us to recognize the passing show, pay it no mind, and redirect our focus on the breath and the process of clearing our minds. 

In Crash Book, Marlene also mentions the Buddhist reference to “monkey mind” of which I am most definitely afflicted!